Le DeClutter

Some of us declutter by unfriending excess unknown contacts on Facebook. Some by cleaning rooms, throwing away unused unwanted stuff. Exceptional characters like me say “I will clean my room” and end up playing with all hidden lost things i find in the name of “cleaning my room”. Since im too lazy, i end up procrastinating anything and everything. Gives you the pleasure and satisfaction of doing nothing.

This is why mothers hate you being lazy. This is why i love being lazy. I was born lazy. Yep. Solid 7 days late. After some 20+ years i expose my lazy secret. End of story!.

One fine day after you declutter, you realise how good you feel.

Q: How does declutter make you feel good?

A: Who cares!? Just clean and be happy anyway.

Because that’s what all are crazy for. “happiness” — Many go extreme lengths for this happiness. Some self centered people think killing one’s life puts an end to all. Not realizing you being dead could be an added burden for others around. Especially, your family.

If you are someone looking for happiness, if you are someone wanting to kill yourself, if you are someone who don’t want to kill yourself — I have 2 things to tell you.

  1. Read what i write below.
  2. Read point 1
  3. There is no point 3. I clearly said 2 things in above passage.
  4. Now be good and read #1 again.
  • Most of us know and agree that declutter has its natural healing therapy. Most have done this to prove its true.
  • Most emotional and mental disturbances we have in head is nothing but irrational assumptions.
  • Since your brain space is so big, your brain is not happy with little known knowledge you have already. So your brain does the unnecessary honor to fill your extra large head space with extra large information. Which overloads, suppresses the little known logical information you knew already. Vanishes, poof, gone!!…

Q: How to let go of excess unnecessary infos from brain?

A: 2 things again

  1. Stand upside down and bang your head to the floor.
  2. Stand upright, bang head to the wall.

Either ways make sure your head gets the bang.

Also watch India’s bollywood latest movie Bang bang for additional head bang.

Why do this? Well, not really recent unconducted and unapproved research shows that head bang to the wall and floor make you forget the pain of thoughts inside your head and lets you focus on pain around the head caused by bang. This way you pop in painkillers and sleep. Thus you forget unnecessary illogical thoughts.

Next time you feel the need to declutter from clutter and if your house is unexpectedly clean, then break down everything in your neighbor’s house when no one around. Later, offer services to help. This way you have decluttered, made a friendly neighbor and you’re happy happy!.

If you do not want to follow anything written in the above passages then go up to the terrace, wave a pink shirt with white polka dots to the night sky and dance pathetically to the tune of Macarena and Las ketchup.

If you fail to do any of these least mentioned within 7 days, an alien will come and slap you with a fish.

Here is the video of dance tutorial from YouTube with lyrics for you. Get prepared. Happy DeClutter dancing!

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7 thoughts on “Le DeClutter

  1. A hmm. .. awesome thoughts.. its a satirical approach to stressed out depressed people..

    Learn to be HAPPY! !!!! Great. . Looking forward to hear more from you.. 🙂 Natzzzz

    Nis

    Liked by 1 person

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